Uh oh...Now What?

Well, this morning I thought I'd be nice and make pancakes for breakfast. When I told the kids, they were ecstatic. Then I realized, as I was mixing up the dry ingredients, that I had run out of baking powder. I'm still no expert, but my guess is that leaving out the baking powder would decrease the "cake" part of pancakes significantly. So I Google "out of baking powder" and found several links explaining that you may substitute two parts cream of tartar and one part baking soda. The caution with this substitution is that you must use it immediately, because the chemical reaction when added to the wet ingredients is temporary. This matters little if you are baking or preparing right away, but you wouldn't want to save left over batter or prepare ahead. Anyway, we had vanilla oatmeal pancakes and they were so thick and fluffy, I may use the "home made" baking powder from now on, at least in pancake batter. I haven't baked anything with it yet, so that will be my next experiment. Tune in next time for more "uh oh" quick fixes!

Men, Don't Read Further

No, that was not a ploy to get you guys to read this post. It was a warning that I'm about to get real with all my ladies out there who may relate. So, do yourself a favor and go look at ESPN or something and leave us girls to talk, or else you'll ruin the illusion that your wives are just effortlessly beautiful and good at their roles as wives/mothers naturally and everything goes smoothly when you aren't looking.
Anyway, we are on day four of our new, trial schedule. It has gone pretty well so far, except for our evenings, which we are going to have to iron out a little more. So, on day three, I was feeling like a champ and by 9, the older kids had gone out for a brief bit of fresh air. Ella fell asleep for her usual mid-day nap and I thought, "Yes, maybe twenty minutes!" I told the kids to keep it down since she was asleep and I jumped in the shower. Oh to have a moment to shower without a)someone flushing the toilet, b)a three year old barging in c)a baby fussing at me to hurry... It was so exciting! Also, very daring, since I rarely get me time when the sun is up.  
So, I turn on the hottest shower I can stand. I get out my Dead Sea mineral mask and slather all over my face and neck. I lather up my hair and leave the shampoo on, just because it feels good to take my time. I lather up and shave one leg, without even cutting myself. I lather the other leg and then it happened...the first whimper. I froze, almost as if caught in the act of eating ice cream out of the container. Then, when there was silence, I went about trying to shave again, for at least 10 more seconds. Barely finished, this time with a few nicks and here came the siren: that sad whaling from the baby monitor that says, "I'm awake for real this time. I'm not going to go back to sleep, no matter how much you hope, so get in here before I start in with the real hysterics!" Ugh! I love ya, kid, but I'm still covered in mud mask and shampoo! Needless to say, my anticipated twenty minutes was a mere twelve.  It was a miracle that I got all the mud off and didn't end up scaring little girl when I picked her up, still shower fresh and hair in a towel. 
I hope this story does not offend anyone's sense of propriety, but I figured it might make someone laugh. I had to laugh at my own optimism. 

Homeschool: Day One

Ok, we're not actually doing any school work today. This is just the first day trying out our routine. I woke the kids at 7. They got dressed, straightened rooms and made beds. If they had time left over, they read their Bibles while waiting for breakfast at 7:30. After breakfast, we had a quick devotion, then I allowed an hour for chores. We kept the TV off all morning, which was so nice. I wanted to give us a couple of weeks to get into this habit, that way we could start our school day at 9am. I am so excited by the prospect of our new found freedom outside of the traditional school day, which took up 8 hours. Of course, this is our first year, so we are keeping our minds open, trying to keep our expectations realistic.
My main goal, other than to meet the educational needs of each of my kids individually, is to make this school year completely different from our experiences in the past. It seems like, since my children first started school, our afternoons have been hectic, stressful and less productive than we'd have liked. Every day we had 5 hours from 3pm to bed time, but it never felt like enough. I always fought for balance between allowing the kids a chance to decompress from 8 hours of school, without losing them to the afternoon slump. Snack, homework, chores, dinner, bath, bedtime...oh, and did we leave out some not-so-quality family time? I struggled to enforce chores and homework at times, because frankly, my heart wasn't in it. It didn't help that the school my kids were in didn't have any accountability for homework. They stopped buying text books so the kids only had worksheets and busy work sent home. As far I could tell after 3 years, no one noticed if the kids completed their homework and no one cared if their handwriting was legible. The main focus the school had was studying for the annual standardized tests. They spent months in advance working on how to fill in the circles, how to solve multiple choice questions, etc. not to further my children's education, but to reach a certain standard in test scores for the state.
Needless to say, I am looking forward to much nicer evenings, where I can go back to enjoying the act of cooking dinner, without feeling like a task master the whole time. I can't wait to do some actual school work,  utilize our time on the fundamentals, then walk away from it for the afternoon and go to the grocery store, the park, the library or wherever we want without feeling like there is something else we should be doing. So, I'm counting today as day one, and so far, it's really great to look at the clock, see it is almost 3pm, and not have a feeling of dread!

Hello, World!!

Once again, I have been so busy that I have failed to fit blogging into my schedule. I am making a resolution, though, to get back on the horse, or something like that! I have been inspired by some really great pages on Facebook, and now, with our next adventure on the horizon, I feel like sharing again. We are buying ten acres in the country, building a house and looking for every way to make the land pay for itself. We will be growing as much of our produce as we can, keeping free range laying hens for fresh eggs, raising grass-fed cattle for meat and milk, and my dream is to also board horses. Of course, it is a process and nothing will happen overnight, but our family is so excited!
So, our summer is in full swing and it has been in the high 90's until evening. Because of this, I have been challenges to make meals without heating up the house. I still want to do as much from scratch, and as economically, as possible. Yesterday was our big, biweekly shopping trip, then last night we were busy until late, so today I was feeling less than excited about making breakfast. I thought about oatmeal, since it's pretty quick and easy. The drawback is that my daughter just almost won't eat it. Then, I had an idea that saved the day, and me from standing on my feet over a hot stove.
I only use old fashion rolled oats. It doesn't take much more time to prep, and it goes much further. We have used Irish oatmeal, which is awesome and even better for you, but it is a bit labor intensive and I can't really spend most of an hour making breakfast. Maybe when my kids are older and less needy. Anyway, this morning I remembered how much we loved the instant oatmeal with all the fruit growing up, and my kids used to love it, before I decided that it was full of sugar and pretty expensive! I came up with our own, very tasty version. I cooked the oatmeal per the directions, but I chopped up strawberries and threw them in while it was cooking. As the berries warmed, they naturally broke down a bit and sweetened the oatmeal. To finish, I just added a touch more sugar and some milk for that extra creamy texture. This was so easy, but it was a big hit with all the kids. This may not seem like a true revelation, but it helped us start our day off happy. 

Coming Up For Air

Our bright-eyed little girl, always
 alert and trying to figure us out.

Wow! I never meant to let it go so long, but the days all bled together until I realized it's been almost three months since my last post! Things have been a little hectic around here. We have had quite an adjustment since little Ella came home. She had several issues with her reflux, lots of spitting up and a few rather startling choking incidents. I can speak about it now, because she is doing very well, but in the moment, in the wee hours of the morning, it was very scary! The kids were all so excited to have her home, but that certainly didn't mark the return to normal. Because she slept about two hours at a time, I slept even less because by the time I fed her, burped her, held her upright for at least 30 minutes, then got her down to sleep, I still had another twenty minutes of pumping for her next feeding before I got to rest. That was only the first few weeks, though, because we finally learned how to nurse! Thank God, because that changed our whole relationship. Plus, it meant that she swallowed less air and had fewer digestive issues, and I could sleep when she slept. The kids became very accustomed to Mom sleeping on the couch with Ella sleeping on my chest. They just went about there day whenever we both passed out. My beloved oldest, Edyn, has really stepped up her game. She loves to make breakfast (oatmeal or cereal) and lunch (hot dogs) whenever she can. She just turned nine and would prefer to no longer be considered a kid, so any of the "grown-up" tasks that she can take on, she's glad to do it. I try not to take advantage, but it is good to foster that nurturing spirit in her. She will hold the baby for me sometimes when I'm making dinner. In her words, "this is my heaven." Edyn will be an excellent mother.
Cayde also wants desperately to hold Ella and has gotten to several times, but because of her fussing and discomfort as her reflux has continued, its difficult for him to enjoy her. He has been a trooper to grab a rag or blanket and try to offer her passy whenever asked. Declyn wants to hold her and love on her, but is still learning that she is delicate and his enthusiasm is sometimes overwhelming for her. He tells me all day how he loves her, her tiny feet and hands and nose, and his first question when he wakes up is always "how's that baby doing?" He does ask me sometimes if I can put her down to help him with something. This is heartbreaking, because I know he misses having my undivided attention.
Recently, we have had a breakthrough. We have found a homeopathic medicine that helps with Ella's tummy troubles and it just came in the mail yesterday. Last night, although she woke up to nurse twice, she immediately went to sleep after and didn't cry once all night. We actually slept in and barely got the kids to school on time! For those of you interested, it's called Colic Calm. I was ecstatic to find it online and after reading several reviews on the home site and also on Amazon, I order two bottles.
So, while I can't promise a completely normal schedule, I'm very optimistic today. Well, today is the first day I felt I had the time and energy to blog, so that's something!

And Now...The Rest Of The Story

Edyn and Cayde, holding Declyn as a newborn, in 2009.

All three, much bigger, riding a turtle sculpture,
last fall.

While Ella has been the focus of my recent posts, she's only the most recent addition to our family. It would be inaccurate to tell only her part of the story. When I was first put on bed rest, it was like a call to arms. With an army of adults rushing to our aide, Edyn, Cayde and Declyn had a daily decision to make: to join or not join. Most of the time it was at least two out of three, but not always the same two.
The kids all knew that Ella was coming, that she was a "she" and that we would be expecting her in February. So, it has been difficult to explain concepts like hypertension, bed rest, premature delivery, etc. They are very smart, though, and capable of rolling with the punches most of the time. It never quite sunk in that I wasn't supposed to be up, getting snacks, checking their chores, tucking them in... I often felt like I was hurting their feelings by saying "No, I can't do that, but you can ask_________." Declyn seemed to adapt better in the beginning, though. He loves to cuddle with me and loved to rub my pregnant belly and talk to Baby Ella. He continued to do this, almost like he was happy to take whatever he could get. Edyn, my oldest and a classic first child, was eager to jump in with things she thought were fun, like making dinner with Uncle Marc and helping with Declyn. However, like any normal 8 year old going on 15, she realized that other not-so-exciting-tasks needed to be done, like dishes and laundry. Cayde pretty much acted like nothing had changed. Things went on almost without interruption, until I was admitted into the hospital. Then, with my husband at my side, my brother truly took over as the full time caregiver. Marc brought them up to the hospital the first night, so they could see me and I could try to explain what was happening. It was hard for all of us. I wanted to show them that I was fine and reassure them about Ella. Declyn had been with us all day, so he was getting testy. Edyn had questions that seemed beyond her years, specifically about my blood pressure and the baby. Cayde cried. Remember, he's the one that acted like nothing had changed. He's also the most sensitive of them all. My Cayde is this loud, funny, rough-and-tumble boy, but he's also the one that feels everything the deepest. You just wouldn't know it until he opens up. I held him and told him it would be alright. Then, my Mom took them home to bed. So, we were in a holding pattern until Ella was born. I saw the kids every other day. We filled the gap by talking on the phone, and at nap and bedtimes, I got a special phone call from Declyn, so that I could sing his good night songs.
When the news that Ella was born reached the kids, it was very anticlimactic, because they weren't able to see her. The baby sister that Edyn has been dreaming about, that Cayde has been curious to see, that Declyn has been talking to, the full size baby that we were to meet in February, came out too small and early. We had her 6 days before Christmas, but it was like a big Christmas surprise that no one could open. The kids couldn't even look at her through a window, because she was in NICU. We showed them pictures, but it's hard for a kid to get excited about a picture. In the mean time, I was finally discharged home. Things were far from back to normal. With twice a day trips to the hospital that, because of gas consumption, turned into me spending seven hours a day gone, it's like not being home. I leave mid-morning and get home just before dinner. The kids have taken it all in stride and, at least now, I can tuck them in at night. A week ago, I was allowed to take Edyn with me for a visit. We dubbed it our first girls' night with Ella, since my husband and the other boys stayed home. Edyn was so fascinated by her, touching her little hands and asking questions. Then, I took Edyn for a frosty and fries. It was nice to have some time alone with her. I know it was good for us both. Edyn finally got excited about her new sister.
Cayde broke my heart by telling my brother that he was sure he wouldn't be allowed to touch Ella because everyone kept telling him to settle down and be gentle while I was pregnant. So, I took him aside and told him how important he would be as an older brother and protector. I explained that in the beginning we would have to be very gentle, the way we are with eggs so we don't crack the shells. A little light bulb went on and I think he's a bit less apprehensive about this tiny thing coming home. He wasn't happy about Edyn going with me to meet Ella without him, but I told him he was just too young.
Declyn still tells me he loves my belly! It's funny, because my belly is shrinking. One day last week, though, he was looking at my belly and asked to see my "boo-boo" (we showed the kids my incision). When I showed him my now healing scar, he asked again what happened. I explained that the boo-boo was how we were able to get Ella out. He became very offended and demanded to know why we took her out. My husband and I made eye contact across the room, then we very gently explained that I was sick and Ella needed to come early. Then we reminded him that she was too little to come home, that she would stay at the hospital until she ate enough to get bigger. He accepted this explanation, as he accepts almost everything we tell him. Thank you, Jesus! He's at the age now where he will accept most anything we tell him as the final word.
Thankfully, throughout most of this experience, Rich has been off of work. Once I came home, he was able to resume full-time parenting and things at home came closer to routine. We are about to lose him to work, this next Monday. Edyn and Cayde will be back at school tomorrow, so that leaves Declyn and me. We will have to do some creative scheduling starting next week. I'm sure it will involve Uncle Mom again. The only thing of which we can be certain: this is all temporary. We will get back to normal, or rather, the new normal, where we are truly a family of six.

A New Year's Resolution I Can Get Behind

Daddy got to hold her for only the
2nd time last night.

Kangaroo care.

Caught her smiling today.

Yesterday, I went to my 11am appointment with Ellowyn and found a bottle warmed and ready. I was apprehensive, because last time we tried a bottle feeding, she sputtered and choked and held her breath, causing her heart rate to drop, along with her oxygen saturation. I have to add that those are normal set-backs, because of her age and development. The pediatrician said it was fine and not to rush. That was on the 29th. So, yesterday, I gingerly offered her the bottle and she started sucking it down, swallowing it like a pro! It was like she'd resolved to learn to eat like a big girl this year. She got down over half of her bottle, then passed out, like a toddler face plants in a plate of spaghetti. Then, today we tried again, and she managed to take her whole meal from the bottle. I am so proud of my little girl.
The other fun development in our routine is once a day kangaroo care, or skin-to-skin contact. In the evening, when Ella tends to be more drowsy, I get to hold her against my chest. She is undressed to her diaper, so that we are "skin-to-skin." This is more than just a bonding exercise. Research has shown that kangaroo care actually stabilizes a baby's heart rate and respiration, while aiding in brain development. It also helps baby grow because while snuggling with mom for a nap, a baby's body doesn't have to work as hard to stay warm and burns fewer calories. Kangaroo Care, offered by the Cleveland Clinic is a great source for more information.
It made me a little nervous the first time we tried it, because Ella seemed unsure of the point, and took a little while to settle down and get comfortable. I just knew she was going to start crying and call the whole thing off. Then, she suddenly stopped moving and I realized she'd fallen asleep. It was so precious and now she seems perfectly happy to snuggle up with Mama. Everyday is a new experience for us both, and the speed at which she is growing is almost shocking. I am still curious to see how she transitions to coming home. I want her to be happy and feel safe when she gets here. I don't want her routine to be too disrupted, but I'm not sure how to avoid it. Our house isn't exactly quiet. But I am trying to subtly introduce elements in her current environment that can be part of her new one. My aunt and cousin bought this precious little, plush lamb that plays different soothing sounds. I took it this morning and put it in her isolette and turned it on after I put her back to bed. I did it again when I saw her this evening. I thought maybe, if she becomes familiar with the sounds from her little lamb, then maybe that same noise will make her comfortable at home. The nurses and doctor say that it's usually at their original term age, or 37 weeks, before preterm babies are ready to go home. Ella is officially 35 weeks today, so that's really just around the corner. As of this afternoon, she had gained half a pound from her birth weight, bringing her to 3lb 13oz. Also, she has grown three inches, to a whopping 17 inches long! Who grows 3 inches in two weeks? That's my miracle baby.