Spilt milk, peanut butter triangles and holding Barney hostage

Heavy negotiations ensued today during lunch, when my two year old, after spilling half a cup of milk on the table, insisted that he was finished with his peanut butter sandwich. It was at this point, in an act of desperation, that I threatened to turn off Barney. Harsh? Maybe. Selfish? Somewhat, since I really loathe Barney and his friends, but I promise, it was much more important to me that the self-proclaimed king of the world finish his lunch than that I not have to listen to a full 25 minutes of purple, fluffy we-are-the-world. While it may not sound thrilling to everyone, I can't help but find the humor in arguing with a curly-headed little cherub about peanut butter. I mean, who is he to make decisions? He's got a red juice-mustache and last night he refused to take a bath because he saw a tiny crack in the bathroom tile that he swears is a spider! This is not a new crack. We have discussed it at length during potty-training attempts. However, this particular night, that might-be spider became a terrifying, bubble bath-ruining spider. All composure was lost and I bathed the midget while he stood up, screaming in hysterics the entire time. Score one for Declyn. So, it was vitally important that today, during lunch, the score was evened, balance restored.