I'm am a true feminist. I believe that women should be celebrating femininity. I think we should be EXACTLY who God created us to be. We're creative, emotional, nurturing, multi-faceted, unpredictable, soft, strong and beautiful. We look at things differently than men and that is the way it's supposed to be. I'm not arguing that we can't do the same job as men. I'm saying we bring different skills and perspectives to the job. I don't agree with the ugly turn that modern feminism has taken, trying to be more masculine or worse, treating sex like it doesn't matter. It seems like, instead of protecting our virtue and our hearts, women view sex as a normal and necessary part of modern dating. These things weigh heavily on my heart, especially as a mother of daughters.
I have two daughters, an eleven going on sixteen year old and an almost three year old little princess. My oldest daughter is a die hard Taylor Swift fan. Since Edyn was about 5 years old, she has followed her career and every Christmas there's always some T. Swift music/gear/fragrance etc. on her list. One year, Daddy sent just her and me to Tulsa to see Taylor in concert. It was pretty epic for our then 8 year old mega fan.
Now, we as parents have done little to discourage this infatuation. Most of the song lyrics were cute and quirky. The sad love songs were still relatable for my daughter because she has felt heart ache in her life, not in romantic ways, obviously, but her pain was still real. We have been vigilant in screening movies and books and music to make sure that they never glorified themes or ideas that could be unhealthy. We have had a few oopses. There have been times when we realized in hindsight that something was less than ideal. We have grown more cautious over the years. That bit of back story is just a little set up for what I'm about to say next.
I have two daughters, an eleven going on sixteen year old and an almost three year old little princess. My oldest daughter is a die hard Taylor Swift fan. Since Edyn was about 5 years old, she has followed her career and every Christmas there's always some T. Swift music/gear/fragrance etc. on her list. One year, Daddy sent just her and me to Tulsa to see Taylor in concert. It was pretty epic for our then 8 year old mega fan.
Now, we as parents have done little to discourage this infatuation. Most of the song lyrics were cute and quirky. The sad love songs were still relatable for my daughter because she has felt heart ache in her life, not in romantic ways, obviously, but her pain was still real. We have been vigilant in screening movies and books and music to make sure that they never glorified themes or ideas that could be unhealthy. We have had a few oopses. There have been times when we realized in hindsight that something was less than ideal. We have grown more cautious over the years. That bit of back story is just a little set up for what I'm about to say next.
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| Taylor, then and now. She's all grown up! |
I just heard the latest single from the new Taylor Swift album. She has made a clear break from her country roots and is definitely integrating more adult (if you consider early twenties adult) themes. The new song is called "Blank Space." You can see the video here. The song itself is catchy and very poppy. I can imagine the chorus will be playing on repeat in many young fans' heads. And that is what gives me pause. I think the song is a bit tongue-in-cheek and is Taylor's answer to the critics of her love life. The running joke is that all her ex boyfriends end up in a song and this is an anthem for girls who may have been perceived as "crazy in love," but not in a good way. While I can't fault her for the idea and, she's adorable, as always, the video and lyrics are darker in tone than her usual fare. Here are some of the lyrics, for reference, to "Blank Space" (or read them all here):
So it's gonna be forever
Or it's gonna go down in flames
You can tell me when it's over
If the high was worth the pain
Got a long list of ex-lovers
They'll tell you I'm insane
'Cause you know I love the players
And you love the game
Or it's gonna go down in flames
You can tell me when it's over
If the high was worth the pain
Got a long list of ex-lovers
They'll tell you I'm insane
'Cause you know I love the players
And you love the game
'Cause we're young and we're reckless
We'll take this way too far
It'll leave you breathless
Or with a nasty scar
Got a long list of ex-lovers
They'll tell you I'm insane
But I've got a blank space, baby
And I'll write your name
We'll take this way too far
It'll leave you breathless
Or with a nasty scar
Got a long list of ex-lovers
They'll tell you I'm insane
But I've got a blank space, baby
And I'll write your name
Boys only want love if it's torture
Don't say I didn't say, I didn't warn ya
Boys only want love if it's torture
Don't say I didn't say, I didn't warn ya
Don't say I didn't say, I didn't warn ya
Boys only want love if it's torture
Don't say I didn't say, I didn't warn ya
I viewed the video and immediately cringed at the image of my kids bebopping around our house singing, "boys only want love if it's torture, don't say I didn't warn ya" or "got a long list of ex-lovers, they'll tell you I'm insane." We are trying to teach them to only allow good things into their eyes, ears and mouth. We want them to meditate on things that are beneficial to them in the long run.
Does that mean I no longer like Taylor Swift? No. I absolutely get the "method to her madness" so to speak. I understand her venting and I can relate to what she's saying, but I still don't want my daughter meditating on it. So, then I had to have a rather uncomfortable conversation with my daughter. She knew there was a new album out and was already voicing her hopes to get it for Christmas. I told her that I was concerned about this song in particular, that the lyrics weren't something I felt would be good for her heart. I said I'd be happy to screen the other songs on the album and because of digital music, we could buy whichever songs we wanted. To her credit, she handled it better than I had expected. She was disappointed, though.
We don't restrict our children to Christian music all the time, especially since Mr. Jones and I both love a wide variety of music. It's difficult to find the balance between shielding their sponge-like minds and giving them space to make smart choices. I know at this point, the desire to own every album and memorize every song would most likely win. How could it not? So it's our job, as her parents, to help her take a step back and see the bigger picture. I'll leave you with one of my favorite songs that reminds us to take care, when guarding our eyes, ears, etc. is by Casting Crowns:
Does that mean I no longer like Taylor Swift? No. I absolutely get the "method to her madness" so to speak. I understand her venting and I can relate to what she's saying, but I still don't want my daughter meditating on it. So, then I had to have a rather uncomfortable conversation with my daughter. She knew there was a new album out and was already voicing her hopes to get it for Christmas. I told her that I was concerned about this song in particular, that the lyrics weren't something I felt would be good for her heart. I said I'd be happy to screen the other songs on the album and because of digital music, we could buy whichever songs we wanted. To her credit, she handled it better than I had expected. She was disappointed, though.
We don't restrict our children to Christian music all the time, especially since Mr. Jones and I both love a wide variety of music. It's difficult to find the balance between shielding their sponge-like minds and giving them space to make smart choices. I know at this point, the desire to own every album and memorize every song would most likely win. How could it not? So it's our job, as her parents, to help her take a step back and see the bigger picture. I'll leave you with one of my favorite songs that reminds us to take care, when guarding our eyes, ears, etc. is by Casting Crowns:
"Slow Fade"
Be careful little eyes what you see
It's the second glance that ties your hands as darkness pulls the strings
Be careful little feet where you go
For it's the little feet behind you that are sure to follow
It's the second glance that ties your hands as darkness pulls the strings
Be careful little feet where you go
For it's the little feet behind you that are sure to follow
It's a slow fade when you give yourself away
It's a slow fade when black and white have turned to gray
Thoughts invade, choices are made, a price will be paid
When you give yourself away
People never crumble in a day
It's a slow fade, it's a slow fade
It's a slow fade when black and white have turned to gray
Thoughts invade, choices are made, a price will be paid
When you give yourself away
People never crumble in a day
It's a slow fade, it's a slow fade
Be careful little ears what you hear
When flattery leads to compromise, the end is always near
Be careful little lips what you say
For empty words and promises lead broken hearts astray
When flattery leads to compromise, the end is always near
Be careful little lips what you say
For empty words and promises lead broken hearts astray
It's a slow fade when you give yourself away
It's a slow fade when black and white have turned to gray
Thoughts invade, choices are made, a price will be paid
When you give yourself away
People never crumble in a day
It's a slow fade when black and white have turned to gray
Thoughts invade, choices are made, a price will be paid
When you give yourself away
People never crumble in a day
The journey from your mind to your hands
Is shorter than you're thinking
Be careful if you think you stand
You just might be sinking
Is shorter than you're thinking
Be careful if you think you stand
You just might be sinking
It's a slow fade when you give yourself away
It's a slow fade when black and white have turned to gray
Thoughts invade, choices are made, a price will be paid
When you give yourself away
People never crumble in a day
Daddies never crumble in a day
Families never crumble in a day
It's a slow fade when black and white have turned to gray
Thoughts invade, choices are made, a price will be paid
When you give yourself away
People never crumble in a day
Daddies never crumble in a day
Families never crumble in a day
Oh be careful little eyes what see
Oh be careful little eyes what you see
For the Father up above is looking down in love
Oh be careful little eyes what you see.
Oh be careful little eyes what you see
For the Father up above is looking down in love
Oh be careful little eyes what you see.
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